Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Greg's No Nut November (2024)

Greg's No Nut November is an exploitation Diary of a Wimpy Kid fanfiction based on the popular trend No Nut November. It was created by u/swaghawk42r. The most famous audio book of it is by Tales Of An Enigma. Warning: This fanfiction contains mature content, such as extreme violence and strong language.

Synopsis[]

Every year, the Heffley household participates in No Nut November, a tradition where the men of the family try not to ejacul*te; the usual winner of the competition is Manny as he is too young to know what ejacul*ting it. Susan introduces the concept of the Infinite Nut Pass, granting the winner the ability to ejacul*te whenever they want. Several family members, including Frank, fail the challenge several days into No Nut November and eventually, an accident at his preschool forces Manny to fail as well for the first time. The following day, Manny commits apparent suicide with a shotgun while the others are eating dinner over failing the challenge, upsetting everyone except Susan.

More extended family members fail the challenge, although Uncle Gary doesn't; Greg is surprised by this as Gary is a convicted pedophile and registered sex offender. The entire extended family meets together for a reunion and Susan provokes several of the men in the family, including Bryon, who ejacul*tes. After being ridiculed by Grandpa, Byron pulls out two handguns and shoots Grandpa dead with them, proceeding to massacre most of the family in their house. Greg, Rodrick, Susan, and Gary escape while Byron shoots Frank, seemingly killing him, before Bryon is shot to death by police officers. After Susan reconvenes with Grandma, Grandma attempts to get Susan to stop the competition but is instead stabbed to death by her.

Frank is revealed to be alive and is taken back into their home; after Rodrick fails the challenge, Greg heads down to the basem*nt to receive the Infinite Nut Pass from Susan but Susan after showing a pair of male genitals to Greg reveals herself to actually be a man named Samuel Winford, better known as infamous serial killer and gay p*rn star Sammy Twitchdic, who murdered the real Susan and assumed her identity as well as killing Manny and framing his death as a suicide. Sammy attempts to force Greg to ejacul*te in order for Sammy to win but Greg manages to escape; Greg attempts to save Rodrick but discovers that Sammy has already gouged out his eyes. Running through the cold fully nude, Greg stumbles across a shed at Hardscrabble Farms and is confronted by Sammy, who is fully nude as well. As Sammy lunges at Greg with a knife, Greg picks up a discarded axe in the shed and strikes Sammy in the head with it, killing him.

Badly wounded from the encounter, Greg collapses next to a tree and mastrubates one final time before passing away of hypothermia and blood loss while writing the final words in his diary. A news station some time afterwards publishes several reports, which show that Fregley, after losing the challenge after seeing Holly Hills in a swimsuit, committed a school shooting and another shows that Uncle Gary has been set for execution after raping six children at a playground. It also goes into detail of the Heffley family massacre, Sammy’s criminal history, and that the police had found Greg’s diary alongside his body in the shed of the Hardscrabble Farms where Greg and Sammy killed each other, but claims that Sammy’s body was nowhere to be found and that it’s unknown if Sammy died or if he is still on the run. The report concludes saying that the police department plans on making the details of Greg’s diary public within a year, in order to prevent another incident like what happened to the Heffleys from happening again to another family.

Video[]

Trivia[]

• There was going to be a sequel, but the author got his account suspended on r/lodediper. Some unofficial sequels have been published.
• The cover suggests that if it was real it would be made by puffin penguin.
• The book references Franks Night Out and Greg Goes to Vietnam.

Parents Guide[]

Sex and Nudity - Strong[]

• Very sexually explicit, dealing with rape, incest and pedophilia.
• Multiple scenes of graphic full frontal nudity.
• Dozens of characters masturbat* during the events of the story.

Swearing - Moderate[]

• Occasional strong swearing.

Violence & Gore - Strong[]

• Infrequent but very shocking and graphic violence.
• Characters are killed using guns and sharp objects.

Spoiler[]

Sex and Nudity[]

• Susan has sex with multiple people before she is revealed to be Sammy.
• Sammy is naked for the entire climax until he is eventually killed by Greg.
• Numerous disturbing sexual scenes related to Sammy/Susan, including incest.
• After Manny’s “suicide”, the pig uses his corpse as a fleshlight which gets him eliminated too.

Violence & Gore[]

• Gary commits a mass school shooting.
• Over 20 members of the Heffley family are suddenly shot to death by Byron.
• After being annoyed by Grandpa, Byron kills him with repeated gunshots to the torso and head.
• Manny commits suicide early in the story by decapitating himself. It is later revealed that he was murdered.
• Sammy kills Manny by shooting him with a shotgun.
• Susan suddenly stabs Grandma in the stomach with a kitchen knife, then proceeds to stab her multiple times.
• Rodrick is found with his eyes gouged out.
• At the end of the story, Greg dies of a combination of hypothermia and blood loss inside a shed at the Hardscrabble Farms.
• The most graphic scene in terms of nudity and violence happens when a fully nude Sammy has a large portion of his skull split in half with a hatchet.